Cosmic Wars

Cosmic Wars was a series of popular sci-fi films in Springfield, created by Randall Curtis. One of the more notable aspects of the series is various fans wearing costumes modeled after the aliens and characters in the franchise when going to see the films. At some point, it was bought out by Diz-Nee. It also had various toy merchandising, including Blocko sets.

Films

The Gathering Shadow

It is a time of uncertainty. The empire's ambiguous tariff statutes mandate close reexamination of galactic export quotas. Interim Princess Agoomba has co-chaired a subcommittee to draft amendments to existing trade policies.
Meanwhile, regulatory agencies are being heavily lobbied by a consortium of mercantile interest groups and their suppliers to streamline loading restrictions for class-C cargo vessels. The shipping unions have remained conspicuously silent.

It then begins with the chairman of the galactic senate, before calling to a vote, doing a role call. Presumably after some time, an AT-AT managed to burst into the senate, and requesting an addendum to the bill, only to be told by the chairman that he has to wait his turn, with the AT-AT conceding his point and proceeding to sit down as the chairman continued his role call.

Presumably much later, a Jedi is examining his ship, and then demands to know why his wheel cover for his ship is gone, with his partner, Jim-Jam Bonks, admitting he pawned it off to get Space Spliff.

The movie then ends with a purple alien stating the decision is final, and that the proceeding had been tabled, only to turn to the viewers and ominously ask "or is it?" while fidgeting as the credits come up.

Reception

The movie, while initially having immense expectations, was extremely negatively received upon viewers seeing it. Various complaints were in particular directed at the over-focus on politics instead of an actual war, as well as the character Jim-Jam Bonks, who was panned as being a negative stereotype. Bart Simpson, when seeing the opening credits, ended up baffled at the references to amendments and regulatory agencies, although Lisa, his sister and fellow Cosmic Wars fan, remained optimistic that it was to get those aspects out of the way for the things they loved about Cosmic Wars. Bart briefly experienced some elation when the AT-AT crashed into the Senate Building, thinking that meant they will finally get to see some action, although his hopes ended up dashed the second the AT-AT made a proposal and it going back to a role call, with Homer, Bart and Lisa's father, also complaining that it's going too long (deciding to clean out his wallet to kill time, eventually cracking a joke about how his car insurance expired quite some time beforehand) and eventually fell asleep near the end. Lisa when witnessing Jim-Jam's actions, noted that he was a tired stereotype, with Luigi also taking offense and wishing that he could throw his meatballs at the screen to voice his displeasure, but then decided to pose for a pizza box photo first. Upon leaving the theater, Bart made clear he found the movie to have sucked and Lisa expressed disgust that The Gathering Shadow's plotline was all about senate redistricting, and Jeffrey Albertson, a massive Cosmic Wars fan, declaring it to be the worst one ever, though he nonetheless decided to watch it three more times the same day.

Although Bart initially considered wearing a hole in the floor with a fireplace poker to take out his anger at being "ripped off", at Marge's suggestion, Bart and Lisa tried to file a complaint to Randall Curtis (Bart initially attempted to do it, though his poor writing style had Lisa doing it in his stead). However, the complaint ended up ignored two weeks later, with Randall Curtis even responding in a way that made it seem as though Bart and Lisa enjoyed the movie and Jim-Jam. Left with no other options, Lisa and Bart decided to head over to Cosmic Wars Ranch to deliver the complaints in person (with Homer and Marge agreeing due to it being near several wineries and their wanting to tour them, especially when Homer got fired again). Bart and Lisa, after posing as tourists, then proceeded to sneak out and head directly into Randall Curtis's office to file their complaints. Randall Curtis didn't take their complaints seriously, citing that he made advances in special effects, although after Lisa reminded him that they're not a substitute for good storytelling and that his films were timeless classics, Curtis eventually concedes to their point and decides to go back to his roots and left on a Tauntaun, although not before giving them cereal based on Jim-Jam (which they promptly discarded).

Episode VII: A New Take

Due to a rift in the space-time continuum, episodes I, II, and III never happened.

Little was known about the film as it was still in development when Homer pirated the film. However, the audience cheered when the opening mentioned Episodes I, II, and III never happened, with Sideshow Mel stating that his childhood has been unruined. The purple alien was also seen fighting off various soldiers.

TV Specials

Cosmic Wars Christmas Special

Made in 1978 as a TV special, some snippits included R3 and a silver droid serving soup at a homeless kitchen, with the droid saying to let the sauce be with you; as well as a group of black armor-clad people preparing a turkey dinner.

Reception

Jeffrey Albertson hated the special, and admitted he found it to be even worse than he remembered seeing it (which was at least the day before), and also before showing it stated it was "the worst half-hour of television ever." His wife, Kumiko Albertson, commented Jeffrey has every right to be angry. Some of his complaints included that soup is not the same thing as sauce.

Behind the scenes

Cosmic Wars was an in-universe film series from the animated sitcom The Simpsons. It was an obvious parody of the Star Wars franchise. As Star Wars was previously established to have existed in the continuity, it is unknown how both the parody and the source material co-existed.

Allusions to Star Wars

Owing to it parodying Star Wars, there were several references to Star Wars laced throughout Cosmic Wars.

• Randall Curtis, the man who made the films, is a clear reference to George Lucas.
• The practice of fans wearing costumes when seeing the film is based on how Star Wars fans tended to go see Star Wars films.
• The scene where the fans are celebrating the opening of The Gathering Shadow starting was taken from actual footage of Star Wars fans cheering and waving lightsabers.
• The openings and theme music were based on the openings and theme music for Star Wars.
• Lisa, when expressing her hopes of what the film will entail, makes blaster sounds, lightsaber motions, and imitates a wookiee roar.
• The Gathering Shadow was a reference to The Phantom Menace and to a lesser extent Attack of the Clones, with several of the criticisms levied against it by the characters mirroring those criticisms levied against those films.
  • Princess Agoomba was a reference to Queen Amidala, and her plight regarding trade agreements was a reference to how Amidala's home planet, Naboo, was invaded by the Trade Federation.
    • The opening briefly mentioned ambiguous wording to the Empire's tariff statutes that mandated close reexamination of export quotas, with Agoomba co-chairing a subcommittee to draft amendments to existing trade policies, and implies that mercantile interest groups were unhappy with this and lobbied regulatory agencies. This was a reference to a large part of the plot for The Phantom Menace dealing with the Trade Federation and Naboo quarreling over a trade dispute. However, the main governmental body in The Phantom Menace was the Republic, not the Empire, unlike in The Gathering Shadow.
  • The chairman of the senate was based on Senator/Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, the main antagonist of the overall saga and an incidental character in the Prequel Trilogy. Unlike Star Wars, however, it was never implied that the chairman was the villain.
    • The senate itself was modeled after the Senate Rotunda from the Prequel Trilogy.
  • An AT-AT at one point is seen breaching the senate, although in Star Wars, they were vehicles and could not talk.
  • Jim-Jam Bonks was a clear allusion to Jar Jar Binks, and like Jar Jar, Jim-Jam was poorly received.
  • The Jedi who Jim-Jam accompanied resembled either Luke Skywalker or Obi-Wan Kenobi.
    • The ship he was in resembled a Jedi Starfighter.
  • The purple alien seen in the ending was a reference to Yoda.
• When writing the sequel just before Bart and Lisa entered his office, Randall Curtis's script made a reference to Lord Kraylac, who is presumably a reference to either Darth Maul or Count Dooku.
• Cosmic Wars Ranch was a reference to Skywalker Ranch, the headquarters for Lucasfilm.
• When leaving for the video store to go back to his roots, Randall Curtis rides on a Tauntaun.
  • He also mentioned that he lifted his plots and characters from Westerns and Samurai Films, which referred to how Star Wars' plots were lifted from Akira Kurosawa movies, in particular Hidden Fortress.
• Episode VII: A New Take was a reference to The Force Awakens, which had been in development at the time Steal This Episode was made.
  • The blurb in the opening stating that Episodes I, II, and III never happened as a result of a rift in the space-time continuum (as well as the audience's elated reaction) was a reference to the poor reception to the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy.
    • Ironically, the few things seen in the film, a Yoda lookalike fighting Boba Fett lookalikes, was taken from the Clones from the Prequel Trilogy.
• Diz-Nee's acquisition of the Cosmic Wars property was a reference to how Disney bought various Lucasfilm properties, Star Wars included, back in 2012.
• The Cosmic Wars: Holiday Special, as well as Jeffrey Albertson and Kumiko's negative reception to it, was a reference to The Star Wars Holiday Special as well as it's similarly poor reception upon airing.
  • The sweater-wearing silver robot and blue droid were a reference to C-3PO and R2-D2, although the latter was called R3. Oddly, a character resembling Darth Vader was among them in serving the soup in the panaway shot.
    • The sweater-wearing droid's line of "May the sauce be with you!" was an obvious pun on the phrase "May the Force be with you."
  • The black armored family at the turkey dinner and the patriarch were all references to Darth Vader. Ironically, his actual wife had actually been killed in Revenge of the Sith, and his actual children were none other than the heroes of the Star Wars Trilogy, Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa.
  • One of the aliens the droids served resembled Max Rebo. Another resembled a blue-colored Devaronian.
• The Blocko Cosmic Wars line is a parody of the Lego Star Wars line;
  • Chubba the Shedd's Dust Palace was a reference to Jabba's Palace;
    • Cubba the Shedd himself is a reference to Jabba the Hutt.

Other references

Aside from the obvious references to Star Wars, the various media had various other pop culture references as well:

• When the AT-AT heeded the Galactic senate's chairman demand that he wait his turn, it was seen reading the Evening Standard, which is an actual newspaper agency in Great Britain.
• The opening reference to a space-time rift in Episode VII: A New Take, was a reference to the 2009 Star Trek reboot film helmed by JJ Abrams which dealt with a black hole causing a split in the timeline (Coincidentally, JJ Abrams would later direct the actual Episode VII for Star Wars, The Force Awakens).
• Although technically not related to Cosmic Wars directly, the rival film for The Gathering Shadow being shown at the Aztec Theater, The Momentum of Things, was a parody of Brassed Off. Coincidentally, both the Prequel Trilogy and Brassed Off featured Ewan MacGregor in a major role.

External links

• Cosmic Wars on Simpsons Wiki;
  • Cosmic Wars: The Gathering Shadow on Simpsons Wiki;
  • Cosmic Wars Episode VII: A New Take on Simpsons Wiki;
• Co-Dependent's Day on Simpsons Wiki;
• Steal This Episode on Simpsons Wiki;
• The Man Who Came to Be Dinner on Simpsons Wiki;
• I Won't Be Coming Home For Christmas on Simpsons Wiki;