Star Wars Episode II: The Empire Strikes Backyard
TESBY poster.jpg

Darren and Mark Scales


Darren and Mark Scales


Edwin Hollingsbee, Mark Scales, Darren Scales

Music by

John Williams


Backyard Productions


May 6, 2000


46 min


£900 ($1100)


20 BBY


Rise of the Empire era

Preceded by

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (non-canon)

Followed by

Star Wars Episode III: The Emperor's New Clones

Star Wars Episode II: The Empire Strikes Backyard is a 2000 fan film written and directed by Darren Scales. It is an alternate spoof version of Attack of the Clones, inspired by the release of The Phantom Menace.

Opening crawl[edit | edit source]

Episode II
It is a DARK TIME for the galaxy. Since
the victory of NABOO and the death of
QUI-GON JINN, the Trade Federation,
controlled by the EMPEROR, has turned
against the citizens of the Republic.

Unaware of the Sith Lord's plan, the Jedi
Council has proclaimed a newfound
peace in the galaxy. JEDI KNIGHTS,
guardians of peace and justice, have
been reassigned to more domestic

Now the Emperor has initiated moves
against the CHOSEN ONE. Bounty
hunters from across the GALAXY have
been summoned to meet with the DARK
LORD. However, a newly trained Jedi
Master has foreseen the Sith's

Plot[edit | edit source]

12 years after the Battle of Naboo, Obi-Wan Kenobi goes to Naboo to get Anakin to accompany him on a Jedi mission. Padmé Amidala will not let Anakin go unless he gets direct permission from the Jedi Order. Meanwhile, the Emperor, is on his Star Destroyer and sends his Sith apprentice, Darth Maul, to find Anakin. Obi-Wan and Anakin leave from the Jedi Council before they reach a decision and head to the Emperor's Star Destroyer onboard a Rebel corvette.

Upon arriving on the Star Destroyer, Anakin goes after Palpatine and Obi-Wan battles the Imperial troops. When Anakin gets to the Emperor's throne room, after he finishes off the bounty hunters, he challenges him. Palpatine then calls for Darth Maul into the room. Anakin and Maul fight for hours and hours until they both drop from fatigue. In the end, Anakin helps Maul up off the ground and the fighting stops… but Palpatine sees this as a great place to break into song. Palpatine sings "It's not how you start but how you finish." an original song by Mark Scales, which is a parody of "It's Not Where You Start", sung by Barbara Cook and the Seesaw broadway musical.

Making of Episode II cast[edit | edit source]

Narrator … John Pinder
Brian … Phill Hambrook
George Lucas … Darren Scales
John Williams and Film Crew Member … Mark Scales
Mrs. Lucas … Janine Russell
Indiana Lucas … Matthew Russell
Luke Lucas … William Russell
Lucy Lucas … Sarah Russell
Mike Michaelson and Film Crew Member … Kevin Harper
George's Dog … Chewie
Film Crew … John Pinder, Tracie Ogles, John Moore, Alex Houldsworth, Garath Williams, Janet Harrison, Allison Carter, Sandra Shahin, and Edwin Hollingsbee

Cast[edit | edit source]

Obi-Wan Kenobi and Imperial Guard … Edwin Hollingsbee
Anakin Skywalker and Imperial Guard … Mark Scales
Emperor Palpatine, Darth Maul, and Yoda … Darren Scales
Queen Amidala … Tanya Moncour
Luke and Leia Skywalker … Luke Shahin-Scales
Padmé, Hoowot Wywen, Imperial Guard, and Dancing Guard … Sandra Shahin-Scales
Shar-Lein Broos, Bosch, Juggling Jedi, and Imperial Guard … Phill Hambrook
Ambro Seia … Matthew Russell and Laura Rimmer
Dai Hard, Gin-Gan-Goolie, Imperial Guard, and Dancing Guard … Kevin Harper
Seelar Black and Dancing Guard … John Moore
Imperial Guard … Meghan Rimmer
Imperial Guard … Alex Houldsworth
Juggling Jedi … Janet Harrison
Palace Guard … Toby Watkins

Crew[edit | edit source]

Director and Writer … Darren and Mark Scales
Set Director … Edwin Hollingsbee
Director of Photography … John Pinder
Editor … Mark Scales
Costumes … Sandra Scales and Edwin Hollingsbee
Visual Effects … Mark Scales
Computer Animation … Edwin Hollingsbee
Music … John Williams

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • The film takes place 12 years after Episode I, and the title is a pun on The Empire Strikes Back, the fifth chapter in the Skywalker saga.
  • Obi-Wan has Qui-Gon's green lightsaber, while Anakin has Obi-Wan's blue lightsaber.
  • Luke and Leia were born in 19 BBY.
  • B-wing starfighters weren't introduced until 0 ABY.
  • Darth Maul's double-bladed lightsaber was repaired.
  • Hoowot Wywen is a pun on "Who what why when".
  • Dai Hard is a pun on "Die Hard", and his mouth doesn't move when he speaks due to the costume's mask. Additionally, he has a Welsh flag on his suit, as well as his accent. His catchphrase (whenever he sees a Jedi) is "Oh no! It's a Jedi Knight!".
  • Darren and Mark Scales are brothers in real life, as well as Sandra and Luke Shahin-Scales (Darren's wife and son). And same with Matthew, Sarah, Janine, and William Russell.
  • Nagasaki, from Geriatric Park, makes a cameo appearance as one of the Jedi Council members.
  • Jar Jar Binks doesn't appear in the film, but his species, the Gungans, were mentioned by Emperor Palpatine.

Characters[edit | edit source]

  • Queen Amidala
  • Seelar Black
  • Shar-Lein Broos
  • Gin-Gan-Goolie
  • Dai Hard
  • Qui-Gon Jinn (Mentioned only; in the opening crawl)
  • Obi-Wan Kenobi
  • Emperor Palpatine (Darth Sidious)
  • Ambro Seia
  • Anakin Skywalker
  • Luke Skywalker
  • Leia Skywalker
  • Padmé Skywalker (Padmé Naberrie)
  • Hoowot Wywen
  • Yoda

Ships[edit | edit source]

Sentient species[edit | edit source]

  • Ambro Seia's species (Cornish)
  • Bosch's species
  • Cerean
  • Dai Hard's species (Welsh)
  • Human
    • Australian (Shar-Lein Broos's group)
    • Naboo
    • Stewjonian
  • Gungan (Mentioned only)
  • Seelar Black's species (Liverpudlian)
  • Yoda's species
  • Zabrak

Droids[edit | edit source]

  • Probe droid (Mentioned only)

Weapons and technology[edit | edit source]

  • Battery
  • Blaster
  • Hologram
  • Lightsaber
    • Darth Maul's double-bladed lightsaber
    • Obi-Wan Kenobi's lightsaber
    • Qui-Gon Jinn's lightsaber
  • Tractor beam

Organizations and titles[edit | edit source]

  • Bounty hunter
  • Galactic Empire
    • Galactic Emperor
    • Imperial Guard
  • Jedi
    • Jedi Padawan
    • Jedi Knight
    • Jedi Master
  • Jedi Council
  • Juggling Jedi
  • Kenobi family
  • Palpatine family
  • Sith
    • Sith apprentice
    • Sith Lord
  • Skywalker family
  • Trade Federation (Mentioned only)

Locations[edit | edit source]

  • The galaxy
    • Mid Rim
      • Chommell sector
        • Naboo system
          • Naboo
            • Theed Royal Palace
    • Core Worlds
      • Corusca sector
        • Coruscant system
          • Coruscant
            • Jedi Temple

Miscellanea[edit | edit source]

  • Alien
  • Color
  • Death
  • Droid (Mentioned only)
  • Ear
  • Eye
  • Galaxy
    • Star
      • Star system
        • Planet
  • Hair
  • Language
    • Basic
  • Lightsaber combat
    • Sai cha
    • Shiak
  • The Force
    • Force choke
    • Force push
    • Force lightning
  • Zeyd cloth

Music played in The Empire Strikes Backyard[edit | edit source]

  • "Main Theme/Approaching the Death Star" (Return of the Jedi)
  • "Emperor's Throne Room" (Return of the Jedi)
  • "The Pit of Carkoon/Sail Barge Assault" (Return of the Jedi)
  • "The Tractor Beam/Chasm Crossfire" (A New Hope)
  • "Arrival on Dagobah" (The Empire Strikes Back)
  • "Jabba's Baroque Recital" (Return of the Jedi)
  • "The High Council Meeting and Qui-Gon's Funeral" (The Phantom Menace)
  • "The Imperial Probe/Aboard the Executor" (The Empire Strikes Back)
  • "Lando's Palace" (The Empire Strikes Back)
  • "Imperial Starfleet Deployed/City in the Clouds" (The Empire Strikes Back)
  • "Father and Son" (Return of the Jedi)
  • "The Training of a Jedi Knight/The Magic Tree" (The Empire Strikes Back)
  • "Ben Kenobi's Death/TIE Fighter Attack" (A New Hope)
  • "The Death Star/The Stormtroopers" (A New Hope)
  • "Deal with the Dark Lord" (The Empire Strikes Back)
  • "The Lightsaber/The Ewok Battle" (Return of the Jedi)
  • "The Duel Begins" (Return of the Jedi)
  • "Duel of the Fates" (The Phantom Menace)
  • "Qui-Gon's Death" (The Phantom Menace)
  • "A Jedi's Fury" (Return of the Jedi)
  • "Watto's Deal/Shmi and Qui-Gon Talk" (The Phantom Menace)
  • "It's Not How You Start, But How You Finish" (The Cast)
  • "The Throne Room/End Title" (A New Hope)
  • "Parade of the Ewoks" (Return of the Jedi)
  • "Greased Lightnin'" (Grease)
  • "The Dune Sea of Tatooine/Jawa Sandcrawler" (A New Hope)
  • "The Moisture Farm" (A New Hope)

External links[edit | edit source]

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