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Star Wars Episode III: The Emperor's New Clones
TENCLO poster
Director(s)

Darren Scales

Writer(s)

Darren Scales

Starring

Edwin Hollingsbee, Mark Scales, Darren Scales

Music by

John Williams

Distributor

Backyard Productions

Runtime

75 min

Budget

£3500 ($4600)

Era

Rise of the Empire era

Preceded by

Star Wars Episode II: The Empire Strikes Backyard

Followed by

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (non-canon)

Star Wars Episode III: The Emperor's New Clones is a 2006 fan film written and directed by Darren Scales. It is an alternate spoof version of Revenge of the Sith.

Opening crawlEdit

Episode III
THE EMPEROR'S NEW CLONES
War! What is it good for?
It is a DARK TIME for the 
GALAXY. As the Clone Wars
rage on, the Jedi fight
desperately to restore peace
and justice to the REPUBLIC.

Back on NABOO, Anakin 
Skywalker … etc. … marital
problems … Luke and Leia …
blah blah … Jedi Academy …
tempted by the Dark Side.

Obi-Wan Kenobi … blah blah
blah … battles to save … ya de
ya de ya de ya … against all
odds … YAWN … only hope …
yeah whatever … certain DOOM
for the GALAXY… 

Enough already…

PlotEdit

Several years after the previous movie, Obi-Wan gets captured by Emperor Palpatine and taken to the Death Star. Meanwhile, Anakin Skywalker, takes Luke and Leia to Yoda to be trained as Jedi. On the Death Star, Palpatine inspects the Clone Troopers, who do not look alike or have matching boots. Palpatine sends Darth Small (a miniature Darth Vader) to watch over the Clone Troopers. Anakin and the Jedi Masters, including Mace Windu, go to meet Palpatine to discuss Obi-Wan's rescue. Palpatine then returns to the Death Star and awaits Anakin to come rescue Obi-Wan.

When Anakin finally arrives, Palpatine tells Anakin that if he just puts on the Darth Vader helmet, that he will be the ultimate master of the Force. Mace Windu and Hoowot Wywen, another Jedi, come to Anakin's aid but after Obi-Wan is rescued, Anakin accidentally steps on Obi-Wan's foot, which triggers a fight. The fight ends with both of Anakin's arms being amputated by Obi-Wan. When Padmé arrives to scold Anakin, he quickly takes the Darth Vader helmet and puts it on. The end of the movie has Palpatine and the Clone Troopers singing and dancing Mary Poppins' "Step In Time."

CastEdit

Obi-Wan Kenobi … Edwin Hollingsbee
Anakin Skywalker … Mark Scales
Padmé Skywalker … Kirsty Mylchreest
Emperor Palpatine and Yoda … Darren Scales
Mace Windu and Darth Vader 70s Dance Double … Shaun Walker
Luke Skywalker and Darth Small Double … Luke Shahin-Scales
Leia Skywalker … Sarah Russell
Gin-Gan-Goolie, G-Force Singer, and Imperial Officer … Kevin Harper
Hoowot Wywen … Sandra Shahin-Scales
Han Solo Sr. and Workman … Phill Hambrook
Han Solo … Alex Weir
Darth Small … Reuben Hilliard
Great Great Great Great Grand Moff … Dominic Gilvary
Twoby-Wan and G-Force Singer … Paul Topping
Mon Kei, Emperor Stunt Double, and Burp-Fart Oona Double … Adam Neary
Qui-Ton Sett … William Russell
Burp-Fart Oona and Imperial Officer … Matthew Russell
Bru-klyn … Brooklyn Walker
Red Leader … Ashley Ball
Red 2 … Sophia Hilliard
Red 3 … Sarah Weir
Red 6 … Douglas Reid
Red 4 … Bethanie Reynolds
Red Hed … Alana Scales
Janitor … Steven Tittensor
Red Wine … Janine Russell
The Twins … Adam and Connor Scales
Red Eye and G-Force Singer … Phil Cocking
Foreman … Keith Reading
Handmaiden … Naomi Goodrum
Busker … Morag Ellis
G-Force Singer and Burp-Fart Oona Double … Dan Owen
Imperial Officer … Nigel Brice
Imperial Officer … Verity Hopkinson
Imperial Officer … Bale Davin
Imperial Officer … Jan Pasternak
Rebels and Clones … Various Cast Members

CrewEdit

Director, Writer, and Producer … Darren Scales
Assistant Directors … Mark Scales and Edwin Hollingsbee
Director of Photography … Dominic Gilvary
Creative Consultant … Edwin Hollingsbee
Music … John Williams

TriviaEdit

  • The movie title is a pun on The Emperor's New Clothes.
  • Princess Leia is older than Luke Skywalker.
  • Han Solo Sr. is the non-canon counterpart of Jonash Solo (Han's father).
  • There are references to Pulp Fiction and Star Trek.
  • Mon Kei is a pun on monkey.
  • Bru-klyn is a pun on Brooklyn.
  • Burp-Fart Oona speaks in only burps and farts, hence the name.
  • The TARDIS from Doctor Who and the Vipers from Battlestar Galactica make cameo appearances, as well as Superman.
  • Alana, Adam, and Connor Scales are real-life relatives of Darren and Mark Scales. As well as Matthew, Sarah, Janine, and William Russell, Reuben and Sophia Hilliard, Alex and Sarah Weir, and also Shaun and Brooklyn Walker.
  • Chewbacca and C-3PO are absent from the film.
  • The clone troopers replaces the stormtroopers in the film.

CharactersEdit

  • Bru-klyn
  • Gin-Gan-Goolie
  • Jabba the Hutt (Mentioned only)
  • Mon Kei
  • Obi-Wan Kenobi
  • Burp-Fart Oona
  • Emperor Palpatine (Darth Sidious)
  • R2-D2
  • R4-P17
  • Red Leader
  • Red Two
  • Red Three
  • Red Four
  • Red Six
  • Red Wine
  • Red Hed
  • Red Eye
  • Qui-Ton Sett
  • Anakin Skywalker (Darth Vader)
  • Leia Skywalker (Princess Leia)
  • Luke Skywalker (Red Five)
  • Padmé Skywalker (Padmé Naberrie Amidala)
  • Darth Small
  • Han Solo Sr.
  • Han Solo
  • Twoby-Wan
  • Mace Windu
  • Hoowot Wywen
  • Yoda (Green Leader)

ShipsEdit

  • Death Star
  • TIE/ln starfighter
  • Imperial-class Star Destroyer
  • Lambda-class T-4a shuttle
  • TIE Advanced x1
  • Firespray-31-class patrol and attack craft
  • Eta-2 Actis-class light interceptor
  • J-type 327 Nubian royal starship
  • CR90 corvette (Tantive IV)
  • X-wing starfighter
  • YT-1300 light freighter (Millennium Falcon)
  • Escape pod

Sentient speciesEdit

  • Cerean
  • Human
    • Corellian
    • Cyborg
    • Korun
    • Naboo
    • Stewjonian
  • Hutt (Mentioned only)
  • Yoda's species

DroidsEdit

  • R2-series astromech droid
  • R4-series astromech droid
    • R4-P
  • Marksman-H training remote
  • MSE-6 series repair droid

Weapons and technologyEdit

  • Armor
    • Darth Vader's armor
  • Blaster
    • DH-17 blaster pistol
    • E-11 blaster rifle
  • Hologram
  • Lightsaber
    • Darth Sidious's lightsaber
    • Obi-Wan Kenobi's lightsaber
    • Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber
    • Luke Skywalker's lightsaber
    • Mace Windu's lightsaber
    • Gin-Gan-Goolie's lightsaber
    • Hoowot Wywen's twin lightsabers
    • Burp-Fart Oona's lightsaber
    • Twoby-Wan's lightsaber
    • Qui-Ton Sett's lightsaber
    • Mon Kei's lightsaber
    • Bru-klyn's lightsaber
    • Darth Small's lightsaber
    • Training lightsaber
  • Microwave
  • Refrigerator
  • Thermal detonator (Mentioned only)
  • Tractor beam

Organizations and titlesEdit

  • Alliance to Restore the Republic
    • Rebel fleet trooper
    • Rebel pilot
    • Red Squadron
  • Galactic Empire
    • Galactic Emperor
    • Imperial guard (Clone trooper)
    • Imperial officer
    • TIE fighter pilot (Indirect appearance)
  • Ghôsh Windu
  • Janitor
  • Jedi
    • Jedi Padawan
    • Jedi Knight
    • Jedi Master
    • Jedi Youngling
  • Jedi Council
  • Naberrie family
  • Princess
  • Sith
    • Sith apprentice
    • Sith Lord
    • Sith Master
  • Skywalker family
  • Solo family

LocationsEdit

  • The galaxy
  • Outer Rim Territories
    • Arkanis sector
      • Tatooine system
        • Tatooine
    • Mid Rim
      • Chommell sector
        • Naboo system
          • Naboo
            • Theed Royal Palace
    • Core Worlds
      • Corusca sector
        • Coruscant system
          • Coruscant
            • Republic Executive Building
            • Chancellor's Suite
  • Alderaan (Mentioned only)
  • Dagobah (Mentioned only)
  • Kessel (Mentioned only)

MiscellaneaEdit

  • Alcohol
    • Wine
  • Alien
  • Breast
  • Color
  • Death
  • Droid
  • Ear
  • Eye
  • Hair
  • Ice cream (Mentioned only)
  • Language
    • Basic
    • Burp Fart-Oona's language
  • Lightsaber combat
    • Cho mok
  • Nerf herder (as insult)
  • The Force
    • Force choke
    • Force lightning
    • Force push
  • Sandwich (Mentioned only)
  • Tooth
  • Zeyd cloth

Music played in The Emperor's New ClonesEdit

  • "Main Title And the Revenge of the Sith" (Revenge of the Sith)
  • "The Imperial Probe/Aboard the Executor" (The Empire Strikes Back)
  • "Betrayal at Bespin" (The Empire Strikes Back)
  • "Approaching the Death Star" (Return of the Jedi)
  • "Love Pledge and the Arena" (Attack of the Clones)
  • "Emperor's Throne Room" (Return of the Jedi)
  • "Rebel Blockade Runner" (A New Hope)
  • "Imperial Attack" (A New Hope)
  • "Shuttle Tydirium Approaches Endor" (Return of the Jedi)
  • "Fighting the Destroyer Droids" (The Phantom Menace)
  • "Attacking a Star Destroyer" (The Empire Strikes Back)
  • "The Asteroid Field" (The Empire Strikes Back)
  • "The Death Star/The Stormtroopers" (A New Hope)
  • "Battle of Yavin" (A New Hope)
  • "Attacking a Star Destroyer" (The Empire Strikes Back)
  • "Ben Kenobi's Death/TIE Fighter Attack" (A New Hope)
  • "The Duel Begins (Return of the Jedi)
  • "Anakin vs. Obi-Wan" (Revenge of the Sith)
  • "Use the Force" (A New Hope)
  • "Let's Get it On" (Marvin Gaye)
  • "Shaft" (Isaac Hayes)
  • "Anakin's Betrayal" (Revenge of the Sith)
  • "Qui-Gon and Darth Maul Meet" (The Phantom Menace)
  • "The Clash of Lightsabers" (The Empire Strikes Back)
  • "Carbon Freeze/Darth Vader's Trap/Departure of Boba Fett" (The Empire Strikes Back)
  • "Jedi Master Revealed/Mynock Cave" (The Empire Strikes Back)
  • "Step in Time" (Mary Poppins)
  • "Darth Vader's Death" (Return of the Jedi)
  • "The Immolation Scene" (Revenge of the Sith)
  • "The Hologram/Binary Sunset" (A New Hope)
  • "Victory Celebration and End Title" (Return of the Jedi)
  • "The Rebel Fleet/End Title" (The Empire Strikes Back)

External linksEdit

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